I’ll start with the hard part.
Life is hard.
Adulting, working for a living, making small- or big-talk, managing money, parenting children, dating, surviving, staying healthy, bringing about world peace…important, but never effortless.
And sometimes life is boring.
For people with ADHD, boredom is actually painful.
So? Surely any adult can learn to tolerate boredom? Well, yes, and often, we don’t have choice–to some extent, we can’t be productive members of society without a tolerance for boredom. Much of ADHD therapy and coaching has to do with strategies to get us through the boring parts.
We do what we have to do, but–and this is SO IMPORTANT—we also get to take breaks!
We get to gravitate toward what inspires us, what stops time, what makes us feel like ourselves. We get to experience shiny.
For instance, my latest shiny obsession is stringing glass beads onto copper wire, but I’ve also flirted with glass-blowing, learning to play the piano and being such a good Houston Astros fan that they won the World Series. Among many, many other pursuits.
Shinies rejuvenate us. They give us something to explore. They connect us to who we really are when we have nothing to prove.
Shinies rejuvenate us. They give us something to explore. They connect us to who we really are when we have nothing to prove.
Turning off your shiny is like turning off an important part of your personality. It’s not the same thing as a talent or a calling–you don’t have to “master” it or be judged on your performance of it.
If you feel disconnected from shininess, pay attention to children, the original shiny experts. Most will talk your ear off about shinies, if you ask.
In short, shinies, in the right doses, at the right times, are extremely therapeutic for adults with ADHD. I don’t just allow them, I celebrate them.